Back from the Holidays!

OK, sorry everyone, I've been out and about for the holidays, but I'm back now. I needed a break from everything, so I disconnected and played way too much playstation. The Ratchet and Clank series grabs me like crack, lol.

Now that I've saved the universe from supervillains, I'm back to my regular writing schedule. I feel so much better. I was totally burned out. Too much going on with my day job, too much going on at home, too much going on with writing. Such is life!

I was thinking that maybe I will post small installments of my first book, and people can read along and tell me what they think. Writing is such a subjective thing, and when people read my stuff I get the most interesting comments, often about things I didn't think of or angles that help me to clarify something. They're also amazing at catching stupid typos. I swear you go blind after reading this stuff 50 times in a row.

Anyway, here is Chapter One of The Shape of Her Heart. This is a fantasy romance with paranormal elements, a full sized book based in an alternate Earth. Read away and tell me what you think!

THE SHAPE OF HER HEART

12,261 A.D.

10,225 Post-Apocalypse

Missouri, New America

Chapter One

The rough-hewn stone of the courthouse walls radiated a steady, earthy pulse, one that Quoi couldn’t hear in the face of the coming storm. In frustration, he slammed his hand against the cool, irregular surface and closed his eyes. He soaked up the spirit of the granite, preparing him for battle. His spirit would be like the stone, not calm or steady, but unyielding in the face of danger.

His honor wouldn’t allow him anything less. Whatever happened today, he’d be damned if he let them send his best friend Rasa to a long, bitter life in the local jail.

He took a deep, shuddering breath, bidding his energy to settle. He removed his hand from the wall, wincing at the handprint left clearly in the stone, his shape outlined in a shallow depression. He usually had more control, but today his Gift churned like his state of mind, pouring out of him whether he wanted it to or not.

Hopefully no one would notice the imprint until he was long gone.

He switched his attention to the proceedings, appreciating the advantage of his height as he peered over the crowd at Rasa’s slumped shoulders and bowed head. He saw the Elders had tied Rasa’s hands and feet. Ridiculous. Were they really that afraid of the man?

Quoi battled his temper, forcing himself to stay put. The situation sucked, but starting a fight would help nothing.

The news of Rasa’s arrest and subsequent accusations of kidnapping and murder had set Quoi reeling. They'd grown up together. He knew Rasa better than he knew himself – the man would never do anything this bad unless forced.

But the truth remained a mystery. The court deliberated in secret, leaving Quoi helpless, furious and impatient. He prayed for a merciful verdict, but judging from Rasa's stooped posture, he feared the worst.

He drew a reluctant breath of stale air and wished the Elders would get it over with already. The townspeople fanned themselves and craned like vultures. They were dressed in their finest, the men in waistcoats and the women in their best dresses, as if attending a festival. It was nauseating.

Quoi eyed them with a tinge of contempt, his innocence stripped by the hate and vindictiveness on their faces. He had thought them good people, but prejudice against Rasa’s kind had been waiting in the background, ready to rear its ugly head at the first excuse. They were afraid of Rasa, afraid of his Gift, and all too willing to believe the worst. Even Rasa’s family had abandoned him at the first sign of trouble. Quoi couldn’t find it in himself to forgive such betrayal.

Up front a heavy oak door opened and the Elders filed in. The crowd stirred and murmured at the sight. The Elders wore full crimson court robes - unusual for a town given to informalities. Clearly they meant to put on a show.

The Elders wouldn't make eye contact with the crowd as they lined up behind the dais and sat down in high, mahogany chairs.

Head Elder Printin remained standing and regarded the people with a forbidding expression until the whispering died down. He was a stocky, powerfully built man, and although he was famous for his rather hideous appearance, his size gave him a presence and command no one could deny.

Under the force of Printin’s black stare, a hush descended on the room. Quoi wiped sweat from his forehead, willing them to finish this farce. Once they announced the verdict, he would be free to move, free to take back the control. He resented being at the mercy of others.

Printin scowled at Rasa, silent and grave. Rasa lifted his head to meet his gaze but quickly retreated, unable to withstand the man’s heavy stare. Quoi’s temper kicked up a notch. His friend normally exuded strength and mischievousness, not this aura of weakened defeat.

The Elder’s booming, grating voice rang straight to the back of the room.

"Rasa Gerwen, the court has heard your testimony and the testimony of the witnesses. We are appalled. There haven’t been such horrific crimes committed in our township for hundreds of years. Your actions bring great dishonor to us all.”

The Elder paused, letting the gravity of his words sink into the crowd. Quoi shifted on his feet, livid. The verdict was obvious. He didn’t need to hear the rest. Quoi repressed the urge to explode in protest, determined to give them every chance to act honorably before he intervened, but his gut told him Rasa had no chance for justice.

Printin cleared his throat, the twinkle in his eye at odds with the grim weight of the matter at hand. The man was clearly enjoying himself.

"The charges are as follows: using your Gift to Track eight Metal Shape Elders, conspiring with an unknown enemy to kidnap them, withholding information about who these people are, and resisting arrest."

Quoi winced at the list, disturbed that someone had the power to drive his friend to such desperation.

To the very end, Rasa had refused to reveal those who stood behind him, leaving the Elders no choice but to prosecute him. Quoi thanked the gods his people did not believe in execution, because if they did he had no doubt of the verdict.

Rasa was in enough trouble as it was. Unless Quoi helped him escape, he’d be sent to jail and forced to spend the rest of his life in a dank, dark cell, hidden away from the sun and trees he loved so much.

He clenched his fists, angry and bitter that his people were so quick to believe the simple answer, so quick to assume Rasa's guilt. If only he could talk to him and find out what was going on. Quoi crossed his arms across his chest as the Elder continued.

"As you well know, Rasa, it is considered the highest crime to use your Gift for immoral purposes. We are all utterly shocked with how you have chosen to use yours. After much deliberation, the Elder court finds you guilty as charged on all accounts.”

The room erupted in cheers. Clearly public opinion had swung against Rasa long before the trial. Printin raised his hand, commanding their silence. Quoi narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Printin. The man was enjoying this, and Quoi was dying to know why.

“Before deciding your fate, we called in a Tracker to hunt for the missing Elders, but he couldn’t find them,” Printin continued, “We can only assume they are dead. According to the edicts of our ancestors, executing you is out of the question. However, due to the severity of your crimes, you are sentenced to life at Lumax prison. It is only fitting that you spend the rest of your days in hell, with criminals, thieves and murderers as your only companions."

Quoi went rigid with shock. He’d expected Rasa to be sentenced to life in the local jail, not this. He fought the urge to barrel through and beat some sense into the Elders. Lumax prison was reserved for the most hardened, murderous, psychopathic criminals, and security was so tight even its location was secret. Rasa would for all intents and purposes cease to exist - not that he would live long once interred. He wouldn't stand a chance.

The Elders were tucking Rasa under the rug and merely leaving the nasty business of execution to somebody else.

Screw this.

Quoi shoved through the crowd, heedless of the protests. Elder Printin’s gaze latched on to him, and he shot Quoi a warning look. Quoi ignored it.

"This is wrong, and you know it!" Quoi bellowed, letting it reverberate around the hall. "All of you know it!” He swung his arm around, pointing to everyone in the room. “You’ve known Rasa his whole life. He is a good man, and here you are, celebrating as you send him to his death.”

Quoi shot Rasa a desperate look. “Rasa, come on, tell them what happened to you.”

Rasa’s usually warm brown eyes were alarmingly dull and lifeless. His eyelids fluttered closed, and he hung his head, refusing to answer. Quoi hauled him to his feet.

"Rasa, we can fix this. Just tell them who made you do these things. Tell them everything, and they will help you."

Even as he said the words, he wasn’t sure they were true. Rasa’s ability to Track was a rare Gift, misunderstood and viewed with suspicion. A Tracker could find almost anyone, anywhere, and the potential for abuse was very real. People were all too ready to shut him away rather than deal with their own fears.

Quoi concentrated on the soothing energy of the stone floor beneath his feet, letting it seep into him, trying to settle his rage. He wanted to beat the crap out of Rasa, willing to try anything to get him to respond.

Two men approached Quoi from behind and began to drag him away. He twisted loose, spun, and uppercut one of them under the chin, knocking the man out. Townsmen poured in to help, securing his arms, then one put a forearm around his neck to cut off his air. He fought to free himself, but the men grimly held on. Quoi had worked in the fields all his life and was a strong man, but even he couldn't do much if he couldn't breathe. Black spots appeared in front of his eyes, his head grew light.

They hauled him through the courtroom towards the exit, wanting to avoid further disruption in front of the townsfolk.

Time was running out.

Quoi bucked and hooked a leg behind an ankle, bringing one of the men down. They both fell like deadweight, and Quoi let his weight fall hard and heavy, eliciting a sharp crack as the man's head hit the floor. Quoi sucked in a deep breath and his vision snapped into focus. He heaved himself up, rotated away from the group and raised his hands, palms out, signaling his wish not to fight.

He wasn't done with them by a long shot, but he’d be no help to Rasa holed up in the local jail. Those orchestrating the kidnappings were still out there. They would merely find another Tracker and continue with their plans. He had to free Rasa before he reached Lumax, then Track their enemies before they kidnapped anyone else.

The guards hesitated, unsure of his true intention. Quoi shot Rasa a this-is-not-over look and bowed jauntily to the crowd. He glanced at the stone walls, taking strength from the granite’s clean power, then passed out of the courthouse into the blessedly fresh air.

Submitting Too Soon

Miss Snark talked about how writers tend to submit their work several drafts too soon and she recommends no less that 10 drafts. Hmm. I'm wondering now whether I committed this sin on my first book. I've gone over it quite a few times, but since it's my first book, maybe it will take 15 drafts to get it right. I think over the holidays I'll go read it again with a fresh eye and see what I think.

I do go over my books quite a few times and for different things, focusing on each aspect as I go. I'm amazed at people who say they only have to do one or two drafts. Gah. I wish! To me, books are too complicated for that.

Anyway, it is an exercise in patience, that is for sure. Finishing a book, even in rough form, is a bit of an accomplishment. 450 pages new courier 12 point is a lot of freaking text. :-)

Taking inspiration from TV

OK, my three favorite shows on TV right now are: 24, Lost, and My Name is Earl. I like them for different reasons. Earl reminds me of silly midwestern stuff I grew up with, lol, so I suppose it's a nostalgia thing. I love 24 and Lost because the plotting is fun and the characters, particularly on Lost, are done really well.

It gets me to thinking about how to make my characters and plotting more interesting in my books. It's good to think about why something grabs you and won't let you go. Why the plot makes you want to keep watching. Why you worry for the characters and hope for resolution. HBO also does a number of shows that have grabbed me, like the Sopranos and Six Feet Under. Different kinds of writing, humor, and aim, but all fun shows, and all well done enough to make me look closer at them.

What would I do without my entertainment? lol.

Tag Lines

OK, today I was reading Miss Snark's blog and she mentioned this website. It's quite funny, but also helpful to see how a person can distill an entire plot down to a sentence or two and come up with a tag line. Very cool. Now if only someone would write good synopses about these books so I could mimic them, I'd be in heaven.

Writing a Synposis

So I hate writing synposes. I know this is hardly new news that a writer hates writing them, but damn they suck. They suck to write and I'll bet they suck to read. I know they're necessary, but for pete's sake, how the heck did such a thing evolve? I mean, god forbid we just tell people what the book is about, gmc and conclusion. No, it has to be written in first person, include tone, and be snappy to read. And be short. And have a tag line they can use when pitching the book. Pah. Grumble grumble. Barf.

Ok, I'm done being a big baby now. Just had to get that out. I can only hope that people don't hold it against a writer if their synopsis sux but their writing is good. In the meantime, I shall keep writing these danged things, do my best, and try to send them out without cringing. lol. Stupid synposes.

Taking a Break or Vacation from Writing

OK, I think I need to take a break. Not from blogging, but from writing my book. Maybe for a couple of weeks. I'm reaching burnout level and I'm finding it difficult to produce anything. Usually a sign I just need to drop it for a minute and go back to it later.

So for the next couple of weeks I'll read, critique other people's stuff, write on this blog, and generally not think about my book. Then when I go back to it I should be able to begin again with a fresh eye.

I think I'll do lots and lots of reading. That always refreshes me. And interests me. I like to see what's out there and what gets the best promotion (and I assume sells the best). There are lines that they promote like crazy, but I read them and hate them. And there are small little books hiding in the shelves that I absolutely love. lol. There's no predicting what I will like, which I'm sure maddens the heck out of people who buy and promote books for a living.

Anyway, I feel better now. A weight has been lifted and I've given myself permission to take a vacation. Aaahh.

Learning Curve and Finding Your Voice

OK, so I think my first book is getting better and better. I wrote it over a year ago, but through critique groups and a lot of thinking, it has far more punch than it had when I originally wrote it. I'm to the point that when I read it it doesn't trip me up anymore. I just read and enjoy. I suspect that is a good sign.

It is somewhat discouraging how much of a learning curve this has been, but with each book I've internalized a lot of the lessons I've learned so it gets easier. No wonder not everybody kicks out a novel, and no wonder not everybody gets published. Lots and lots of work, thought, discussion, and patience go into it.

So anyway, I have discovered that the more I write, the more my internal voice is coming out in the books, and I think that's a good thing. My writing has drifted from a generic, cautious style to a more amusing, punchy style now that I am more comfortable with the medium. I am so pleased.

So note to anybody on the writing path: keep trying and keep learning. It takes a lot of time, but you do get better as you go.

I'm Back

OK, sorry people. I've been so busy my hair has been smoldering for four continuous days. For the love of god. My day job has been insane, my dad's getting a divorce, my sister is getting a divorce (am I the only one happily married these days??), and my friends are all having mini-crises. The phone won't stop ringing (did I mention I hate phones?). I haven't had two seconds to sit down and write anything. Not my book nor my blog. Bah. So much for a relaxing holiday!

*deep breath*

OK. Back to my real life now. Tonight I will sit down, reread a couple chapters of my book, and get cracking again. I shall not be thwarted, dammit. I shall finish this book as well as the next 50, so help me god.

And I shall start writing in this blog every day again. I always have something to say, just didn't have time to write it down. *bangs head on desk*

Hopeful Comments from an Editor

OK, got a rejection from an editor today, but it didn't feel like one exactly. She read the whole book and even sent the manuscript back. She said my writing is very strong (and she used the word "very"!), that my plot and hook are original, and that the book was entertaining. She said I need to work on making my characters more memorable and that she thought my book was a bit too magical.

I'm not exactly sure about what the "magical" part means. I mean, the book is magical, so why wouldn't it be magical? Is it possible to be too magical? Hmm. I'm not sure what to do about that comment.

On the other side, I will take another look at my characters and see what I can do to add more depth and interest. That's a critique I understand and can run with.

And I'm very pleased that she said my writing is strong and that my stuff is original. That's the part I worry about the most, so if I have that right, it seems I can't be too far off from success here! lol. I know no one who does happy dances over rejections, but I do. The editor is well-known from a large publishing house and took the time to read the whole thing and comment, so it feels like I'm getting close!

Hurray for me. :-)

Naming your book

I was dreaming last night (what a surprise) and was mulling over what to name my latest book. It has a very specific flavor, sort of like a vampire chick lit in space, so the title needs to reflect that. I finally came up with something. Thank goodness. It was driving me batty. I wanted something that distinguished myself from other vampire books, reflected the flavor, and was kind of catchy. lol. Not that I have a tall order there or anything.

So at present I am going with, "How to Tame a Vampire in 31 days". lol. I like it. I may change my mind, but I doubt it. My chapter headings are going to each start with a vampire taming tip that hints / relates to the events of that particular chapter. I am so happy with this.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was lovely and here I am back in the saddle already. Pah! Sometimes I hate being in the saddle. I'd rather be in a hammock with a pina colada. Ah well. Tonight I get to decorate the house for Christmas so that's what I'm bribing myself with. Work and write, then decorate the house.

Thanksgiving

I'm going to be out of pocket tomorrow as I suspect most people are, so I'll write today and be back to my regular schedule on Friday. The topic today is: What am I thankful for this year?

I'm thankful that my husband's friend decided to buy a new computer and give me his old one about a year and a half ago. This gave me no excuse not to write!

I am thankful I have my own office so I have a place to call my own and write.

I am thankful I have people who like my stuff and are willing to critique it.

I am thankful to the editors and agents who have asked for and read my work so far. I appreciate that they are giving me a chance!

I am thankful to my husband for being cool about the long hours I'm cooped up in my office writing. And for being so cool about leaving the dirty dishes for him. :-)

And most of all, I am thankful for being alive. Life is indeed precious, and I try not to take any moment for granted.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and see you Friday...

Research

Today I added a link on the right, Cool Science, because I love websites like this. There's a never ending onslaught of interesting scientific articles distilled down for people like me. I get the best ideas from these places. You never know what plot twist or hook might occur to you while reading about photons!

Almost makes it feel like cheating, but who am I to ignore a resource?

I also love the Odd News section at Yahoo. Odd News They always have the craziest stories that help me come up with interesting ideas.

I frequent these places because I'm a big believer in coming up with a unique hook. Something that sets you apart from everybody else while still in a recognizable, hopefully sellable, vein. Research is your friend!

Onward and Upward

I am excited about all these new movies coming out. Need to see The Chronicles of Narnia because I grew up on the books. Need to see Memoirs of a Geisha. Need to see Brokeback Mountain. So many movies, so little time!

Got a ton of writing done this weekend, and also sent out more queries to agents. Feel like I accomplished a lot. Plus the weather was lovely yesterday which is rare for Colorado this time of year, so I sat outside and got some sun. My pale skin is shrieking in protest. I'm such a mole.

All in all, a lovely weekend. And Thanksgiving is coming. I suppose normal people think of it as a time for family and friends. Which I sort of do, but I'm mostly excited to have the extra time to write, ha ha.

I'm on a Roll

I'm having a good day today. I got past a part in my book that was throwing up stumbling blocks. It finally dawned on me how to make it cool so I wouldn't hate it, then I was able to finish that part and move on. So today I'm writing a part that is cracking me the hell up and it's flowing really well. At this rate I'll get out 25 pages today. Yay!

So I'm off to do that. Good luck everyone on their writing today. Get some pages out. Remember the Golden Rule: writing first, vacuuming later. :-)

Damn and Layering

Ah damn. Got another rejection today. This one from an agent. She didn't say I sucked, or make any suggestions or anything. She just said she didn't think she was the right agent for me and to keep sending it out because all it takes is one person to say yes. At least she let me down easy. :-)

On to the next person!

Today's topic was going to be layering your book, so I'll move on with that. I put several layers into my books. There's the "don't look down" draft, which tends to produce somewhat clicheed, simple writing with sparks of life. Then I go back and make it better, looking at characters, plot devices, people's reactions, dialogue, etc. This puts the book in good shape, but still in a rough form.

Then I go back and start layering. I layer in description in natural places so it doesn't feel like an info dump, layer in complex reactions, unexpected touches, good use of language to make things pop, etc. This is my favorite part. This is where my writing really starts to gel and where I start to fall in love with whatever current book I'm working on.

Then I polish the heck out of it, analyzing each sentence, each paragraph, each scene. Then of course copy edit, spell check, then I set it aside for a couple of weeks. After that, with a fresh eye, I read it one more time hard copy and fix anything I see. At that point it's as good as it's going to get for now so I start sending it out.

I've heard rumors of people who write slow and get the book out in more or less final format the first run. Argh. I don't know how they do it! Some things only occur to me after I've written the entire book. Some fixes only occur to me after a couple of drafts. My brain just needs to chew on a book one stage at a time, I guess. Writing a book is a surprisingly complex process. There's so many things to consider, there's no way I can get it out in one run. Maybe after 20 years of practice. :-)

Cel Phones and Talking to Yourself

This morning, while driving to work, I realized there's a handy thing about the current fad of having a hands-free cell phone in your car. I watch people sitting in their cars by themselves, talking to the air and there's no one in the car with them. I know they're talking on their cel, but it's funny to see.

Which brings me to my point: I can talk to myself all I want in my car and people will just assume that I'm talking on my hands-free cell phone. Never mind I don't own one. Now no one will look at me strangely at a red stop light. At least not for that!

lol. I love technology and all it's unexpected uses. :-)

Mrs. Giggles

OK, my new favorite person (in addition to Miss Snark) is Mrs. Giggles.

She's funny as hell, sarcastic, and isn't afraid to tell the truth. I'm pretty sure she scares the heck out of people and thinks it's funny. She rants about wanting stronger heroine's in romance novels, has a soft spot for Playstation, and thinks violence in video games is a gas. lol. I'm in love.

I can only hope that someday when I publish, she'll deign to trash my novel too. Ha ha.

Choosing a Topic For Your Book

OK, I was having a discussion last night with a friend about choosing a hook for your book. (ooh, that rhymes!) We were talking about the fine art of choosing something that inspires you and that you find interesting, but that's not so far beyond the pale that it isn't sellable. I suppose this depends on if you are targeting a particular book line or if you're writing a single title, but even single titles seem to be within a certain norm and if you're outside that norm it might be difficult to sell your book.

And god forbid you pick a topic that, while fun, has already been done a bunch and the editors and agents are tired of it. For instance, I hear there are some agents that refuse to have anything to do with plot lines that have cats in them because they're considered cliche at this point. This doesn't mean that a book with a cat character is doomed, but it is something to consider.

So what's a writer to do?

I write what I love to read. And I read what's popular, as well as what is up and coming so I can keep my finger on the pulse of what's going on. I don't plagarize or steal ideas, but I tend to have published books in mind when I write. But I also strive to make mine different somehow. Strive to take it in a new direction, or with a different voice. Something to distinguish myself without going so far beyond what's out there that it will never sell.

At least that's the plan. Having not yet sold a book, I suppose I'm not one to talk, lol. If any of these theories become reality, ya'll will be the first ones to know. :-)

Blogger is Wigging Out

Test. Blogland is going crazy today.

Double Post

Gah.

An Afternoon Off!

Ooh, today I get to take the afternoon off and go write. I'm so excited! It's so rare that I have four hours in a row to devote.

I'm working on a first draft right now. About half done. Funny how I used to think an 8-10 page term paper was SOOO LOOONG and now I write 225 pages and I'm impatient that I haven't gotten more done because my goal is 450, lol.

Anyway, the current scene I'm working on is pissing me off. It's because I haven't fleshed it out enough, so once I do that it will flow better. Still, I always have trouble getting past the middle of a book in the rough draft. I have no idea why. I pay particular attention to that part of the book, making sure nothing sags, there's enough plot, tension, etc. Still it's like pulling hens teeth to get through it the first time. Then I go back and read it and I'm like, "Well, that's actually pretty good." For pete's sake. Some days I have no ability to guage the quality of my writing. All I can do is write and hope it sounds good when I read it tomorrow. Or hope I can fix it!

Perhaps this is some sort of writer's fatigue. All I can do is keep plowing ahead. Besides, everything always looks better on a good night's sleep and a cup of java.

I'm a Rose!

Took one of those Quizilla thangs. This is what it thinks I am:

You are a Rose:

You are creative, sensual, passionate, and bold. You pour your heart into everything that you do. Alluring and gifted with strong sex appeal, you very easily draw people in with your animal magnetism.

The rose has always been a flower heavily loaded with symbolism. In general it symbolizes desire, passion, beauty, and enchantment.

______________________________

Edited to say: I am so in love with the woman in the picture. God. I definitely a hetero, but what a hottie. :-)

Critique Group

OK, so I joined the FF&P critique group today. Since it's 51 some odd people I'm not sure how it works, but I'll be watching so I can figure it out. I'm excited to read people's stuff and have them read mine. I love comments. Right or wrong, comments get me to think about my work in a new light. It's hard to critique your own work since I think you're often blind to your own faults and strengths.

Anyway, will be jazzed to figure out the system and be able to read other people's stuff too. I'm always interested to see what people come up with and think about. And I love to help people improve their own work.

No person is an island and we all need each other, that's for sure!

Why I Write

I've decided that people who write for a living are a different sort of breed. Why? Because you do a tremendous amount of work, mostly alone in an office, without any promise of public payback. Your work may never, ever see the light of day. This doesn't even mean your writing is necessarily bad. Maybe the right editor or agent hasn't seen it yet. But at any rate, there's no guarantee that your work will ever be anything but something you privately enjoy. So why do I write?

1. My day job is in an office environment. It's all rules, regulations, do this, don't do that, very regimented. Not my thing, really, though I'm quite good at being a chameleon so people don't know any different. When I go home at night and write, it feels like I'm doing what I was really meant to do. It feels like I'm living out a dream, being myself, letting my creativity free. All very good things that make up for the fact that I have to have a day job that doesn't do it for me.

2. I like the challenge of writing a story that will speak to other people. And it is indeed a challenge. But when I come up with something that a critique partner says, "Yeah, that really rocks," I cannot tell you how happy that makes me, lol. I'm a sucker for attention and a sucker for making a connection with people.

3. I absolutely love being able to take my fantasies, hang ups, sense of humor, etc. and get it all out in a story. It's all me, down on paper, in living color. I think some people would find that disconcerting, but apparently I have an exhibitionist side because I want myself out there for people to see. As I've gotten older, I've actually gotten to the point that I like myself and therefore like my stories and don't mind people reading them, critiqueing them, or even telling me when something sucks. Considering how much I wanted to be a wallflower when I was fifteen, this is some serious progress!

4. And last but not least, writing is therapy. Now, I'm not going to put deep, icky stuff down on paper, but there is something to be said for working through psychological issues through writing. I think it makes the story more authentic and compelling. As long as it's not too dark and depresses the hell out of people. At any rate, whatever is bothering me, whatever long running issues I have, tend to come out in my stories, and each time I get it out my hangups about a particular issue ease. Hell of a lot cheaper than paying a therapist, that's for sure!

So, considering all this, I'm hooked on writing for life no matter if I publish or not. Of course, I'm hell bent on getting my work out there and publishing, but it's gravy to me. The meat of it is getting to write.

Swearing

OK, today's topic is one near and dear to my heart: my love of F-bombs and all permutations thereof. Now, conventional wisdom says that swearing is something only uneducated people with small vocabularies do. Except I have a college degree and a massive vocabulary.

I blame my repressive, conservative Lutheran upbringing. Lutherans are lovely people, don't get me wrong, but when I left home and got my freedom, I exploded in a variety of ways, swearing included. If I drop something on my toe, the first words out of my mouth are not, "Oh gosh dang goodness gracious!". lol.

So how do I reconcile this in my writing without offending half the population of planet Earth? I use true swear words very sparingly, usually for comedic effect, and otherwise attempt to come up with creative ways to swear without actually saying a swear word. I think I'm raising it to an art form, actually. My husband also helps. I don't think there's a more vulgar person in existence (endearingly so), yet most of what comes out of his mouth is technically not a swear word. So I use him as a resource and even solicit his advice when I'm stuck on something. :-)

Anyway, I'm definitely not the squeaky clean sort, and even wallow in it. I always say the more shockingly vulgar something is, the funnier it is. So I write my first draft with all the swearing and naughtiness I want, and then I have to go back and tone it down a bit so I don't scare people, lol.

My poor, poor mother. If I kick the bucket and she ever gets ahold of one of these drafts, she'll be following me soon thereafter. Note to self: have husband hide this stuff if I die before he does.

In Living Color

OK, I'm back today and my skin hasn't melted off or anything. No zombies wandering the halls craving human flesh. How boring!

Had another breakthrough on my current book. I was trying to decide if my heroine is apart from my hero just a bit too much in the middle of the book and if it was making the story sag. I worked out a clever way to solve it, and I'm all proud of myself. I love it when that happens.

I was also thinking about use of color in writing. I'm very visual and very into colors. I didn't realize this until I started writing in earnest and saw that my use of color comes out quite a bit in my stories. Reminds me of dreaming in color, just while conscious and putting it down on paper. I need to know what color people's eyes are, hair is, including flashes of color that make an image pop, etc. or I have trouble visualizing a scene.

In fact, I like to use hyphens, which I think is somewhat unconventional, when describing something. Like "bronze-gold hair". Used sparingly and from the point of view of a character that it works with, I think it provides nice imagery.

My life is a movie

OK, had to post again today because where I work, there was a chemical spill and then it became a cloud. They evacuated the area for two miles and we're on lock down becuase they don't want us leaving the buildings and breath the air.

lol. Does this kind of crap only happen to me? Will I get brain cancer from this in 30 years? All valid, interesting questions.

I hope they let us go home tonight, lmao. But not to worry. The air smells OK in here. I will count my blessings and leave it at that. *snort*

Deep POV

I've been listening to a long running discussion about deep point of view and whether it is better to write with some distance or write as if you are the character experiencing everything first hand. Whether too much deep pov slows down the story or speeds it up.

My take is that it depends on your writing style and voice. Deep pov would be particularly useful if using the first person, which is not my forte. I also think that deep pov can be very compelling, but isn't the only way to write. I think maybe it's a fad right now or something so people are stuck on it. In my opinion, anything used too much is bad. Moderation in all things.

Anyway, here's a very good article by Pollyanna Williamson on deep pov. She pretty much reflects my take on it.

http://www.hbarwa.com/memberarticles/deeppointofview.htm

Edited to say that the link only seems to work if you copy and paste it into your browser. Dangit. I hate being technically challenged!

Worldbuilding

Was referred to an interesting work that Patricia Wrede came up with. It's a list of questions to ask yourself when building a new world for a book. http://www.sfwa.org/writing/worldbuilding1.htm

Very cool! I'm a big fan of checklists, so I'll just add this to my pile of things to consider when writing my stories. Anything to help me not have to reinvent the wheel every time just to get a properly detailed, complex story out is a good thing.

Which leads me to my love of coming up with worlds that don't exist. I'm especially fond of anything future Earth, whether it's space or fantasy related. Everyday life is just too mundane for me most days. :-) The thought of actually having a psychic talent or there being magic in the world or getting to be on a spaceship brings tears to my eyes, lol. Next to that, driving to work in the morning just doesn't cut it, ha ha.

Promoting your Blog

I learned a new term today. "Link whoring".

lol. Apparently this is when you go to other people's blogs that are more widely read than yours and you comment on their posts and include your blog address in your closing. The idea is that if your post is interesting enough, people will click on your blog and go read it, thus increasing your readership.

This cracks me up. Then again, I'm shameless and will probably do it.

I have also included my blog address in my closing on the boards I post to and on my yahoo e-mail in hopes somebody will give a rat's ass. Probably not, but worth a shot.

Can't wait until my website is finished. Maybe that will bring more traffic to my blog.

Anyway, I got lots of good writing done last night. I was feeling inspired. My current book is cracking me up even as I write it, so that's probably a good sign. :-) I've been feisty and sarcastic the entire time. Apparently I'm in a mood.

The Value of Contests like FF&P

OK, so I think I've decided what I think about entering contests. It is valuable to me if the contest has the following attributes: someone actually reads the entire work or at least the first three chapters, they get to comment, they give you a score, and finalists get to be read by someone like an agent or editor.

Otherwise, what's the point?

I do love having complete strangers read my work and comment. Even if it is a negative comment it helps as long as they're being honest and not slamming me for the fun of it.

So far the best experience I've had is with the FF&P people (link on the right). They really put the time and energy into it to make the exercise worth quite a bit. And for a $20 entry fee it ends up being a bargain. Three people read your work and independantly critique you on a range of topics, like dialogue, world setting, grammar and punctuation, characters, etc. Very thorough. I'm sad they only run it once a year. :-)

Christine Feehan - Night Game.

I took the weekend off from doing my usual routine, which was nice. But now it is Monday, so here we go again.

I read Christine Feehan's new book, Night Game. Love it, loved it, loved it. The only part that bogs me down is when Lily gets too techy. Other than that, very cool book. Best in the series so far, I think. Ooh, Raoul is sexy. And the book cover rocks. I am so happy for her! She just gets better and better.

Had a great weekend. Got a lot of writing done. Played too much Playstation. Ratchet and Clank are like my verson of crack. Must. Stay. Away.

That's it. I'll get my head together and come up with a better entry tomorrow, lol.

Let's Hear it for Miss Snark

My new favorite blog belongs to an agent who writes under the name, "Miss Snark". I have no idea who she really is. I suspect people know and just aren't telling me. I'm always the last to know everything, lol. I'm just not one of the cool kids.

Whatever. She makes me so happy for the following reasons: I love honesty, sarcasm, and humor. Plus she is a veritable motherload of information. The kind of information that is difficult to track down. Thank the frickin' universe for people like her.

Anyway, I added the link to my favorite links list on the right. Go check it out. Read it every day and reap the benefits of her font of wisdom.

OK, maybe that's laying it on a bit thick, but I do love her.

Week from Hell

OK, I'm having a bad week. On top of being sick, I went back to work yesterday, my brain still wasn't working right, then I screwed up royally on something. Now I'm beating myself up about it because I feel terrible about it. What makes it worse is that I attempted to fix it on my own but that didn't work out so I had to own up to my mistake. Dangit. Dangit. Dangit.

Truly, the issue I screwed up on is not the end of the world, but I did have to apologize and on top of it I can't seem to shake it so I'm sitting here feeling bad. Can I go home now and go back to bed?

Gargh and Gag.

OK, back to the more important topic of writing, I think today's topic will be perfectionism. I'm a bit of a perfectionist in most areas. And when something isn't perfect, I beat myself up about it and sometimes even allow the mistake to become an obstacle to succeeding. Writing has forced me to let go of that a bit. You can't be perfect all the time, but as long as something's not published, you can always go back and fix it.

I had to actually learn to take a deep breath and allow myself to write crap because everybody's gotta start somewhere. It's a bit astonishing how difficult I find that to do, although it has gotten a bit easier with time.

Anyway, crappy day and it's only 9:22 in the morning. Somebody shoot me now. :-)

Liz Carlyle's, "One Little Sin"

OK, I just finished an English Regency romance book that I really liked by Liz Carlyle, "One Little Sin". I liked that her characters are really well thought out and aren't too sweet, to the point that certain moments in the book gave me pause (in a good way). The plot line was fun and I enjoyed her story. But what really shines about the book is her sex scenes. They were somewhat unconventional for a regency and very, well, human. And sexy. And hot.

In short, I loved them.

The downside was that the hero just couldn't get over certain obstacles and marry her already. That part dragged on a tad too long. But the rest of the book was just so damned fun that it barely blipped on my radar.

Anyway, that's my book recommendation for the day. I think I'm starting to like Regency romances that break the mold a bit and have more unconventional characters and unconventional sex. It's an interesting twist on an old favorite.

SICKER THAN A DOG

OOOHKAY. So last night I woke up at 2 a.m. with an upset stomach and it went downhill from there. Booyah. God I hate being sick. I'm a big baby, moaning and groaning and miserable. Pah.

Today I feel funky and woozy. Possibly hallucinating. lol. This does not help either my day job or my writing, dammit.

Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Worshiping a lobster pot and laying here like a limp rag is not my favorite thing in the world.

Fantasy Life

When I was a little girl, I had a very rich fantasy life. I think I was kind of unhappy and bored, so I filled the time with imaginary friends and fun adventures. Sometimes I got so involved that I would worry that I wasn't going to be able to live a normal life. Other kids seemed so happy with normal things, but I never was and always had to make things up to make it more interesting.

Even now as an adult, if I get bored or I have to do something I don't feel like doing, my mind immediately begins to wander and comes up with a story to entertain me. lol. How considerate of it. Most of the stories I dream up are sort of embarrassing and I'd never be caught dead admitting to them. But I keep dreaming them because otherwise I might pass out from low blood pressure because I get so bored.

When I was a teenager I used to think this was a sign that maybe I had some sort of mental illness that I couldn't live life like other people, like maybe I have ADD or something. As an adult, I don't think so. I just think it's a sign that I'm very creative and happen to get bored easily because I absorb information quickly and move on. In fact, my whole life is built around what doesn't bore me, including my husband, dogs, and reading. Ha ha. If it bores me, it's out of my life, never to be seen again by me. :-)

Unless it involves paying the bills. Unfortunately I never seem to be able to get away from that one...

The Importance of People

I'm glad that I have my husband (here with me) and my best friend / momma in Florida (unfortunately not near me). If I didn't have these two people, I think I might never have sat down and written my first book. I consider myself a strong person, but I'm stronger with good people around me to encourage me and pick me up when I'm having a down day.

It's weird how all I have to do is call my friend in Florida, have a ten minute conversation with her, and suddenly I feel so much better I slam a cup of coffee and go write 30 pages, lol. And when I'm feeling insecure, I have my husband read what I wrote, he tells me honestly what he thinks, but always puts it in a way that both communicates what I could improve while making me feel really good about my progress. lol. That's a gift, imo.

Between the two of them, I manage very well. I don't know what I would do without them. :-)

The Joy of an Entire Day Ahead of You

Ah. Here I am at 8 in the morning on a Saturday, wrapped in my robe, sipping coffee. I have nothing on the list to do but grocery shop. Such a rare thing to have an open day like this. Makes me so relaxed and happy. So I will write, write, write.

I'm doing a "don't look down" draft right now, but I think I'll go over the last few chapters to make sure I'm filling it out enough so that my pacing looks right. Easier to change things up front than to decide there's something massively wrong with it after three drafts. Then I'll pound out another fifty pages or so.

When I was in highschool I used to think that having to do an eight page term paper was some sort of hellish punishment. lol. And now I can whip out 400 page books in a couple months or so. Puts page count in a whole different perspective!

Anyway, I'm excited to make good progress today. It makes me so happy!

Distractions

I think life is like standing in the middle of a Vegas casino. Total sensory overload and everything is designed to distract you and lull you into floating though life without actually doing anything. TV, shopping, Playstation (I'm an addict, lol), etc. all conspire against me.

Then there's the everyday things, like the car breaks down, things wear out, have to do errands, go grocery shopping. When you add it all up it is a miracle anyone ever gets anything personal done at all.

And I do consider writing personal. It is a business, I realize, and I am building "inventory", but it is also very personal because my primary reason for doing it is for ME and because I love it. Someday, when I'm lying on my deathbed, I will never regret having written these books or taken the time to explore my creative side. I find it very meaningful.

My challenge every day is to cut out the things that distract, that don't really matter, and insist on the things that do: my husband, my dogs, my writing. I don't want life to pass me by. I don't want to be 80 years old wondering what the hell I did with all my time.

So every day counts. Every day I take breath is another chance.

Whew

OK, so I had a dilly of a day and my brain is fried. Which leads me to my next topic: what strategies can a person employ to keep oneself writing when one is tired and fried?

First of all, if you can get them, naps are the way to go. I've heard that some people who are morning people can get up very early and write, but I'm a night owl, so no chance of that. Instead I get home from work, take a nap, get up, slam a half cup of coffee, and then I'm awake enough and functional enough to write.

Sometimes if I'm drawing a blank I'll also read something for 20 minutes just to get my mind in the cadence of words, then usually things flow again, although thankfully not in that person's voice, usually in mine.

Per the previous post, music also helps get the juices flowing. But really, getting enough sleep is my main goal in life. If I don't, forget it. I honestly think I lost a few years not writing because I thought I was never going to be rested enough for it. Then I hit upon the, "take a nap when I get home from work" idea and the words have been flowing ever since.

I don't know what the heck people with kids do. I just can't function all that well when I'm tired. My hat is off to them.

Music I like to Write to

OK, here's music I like to write to, some of which I mentioned before:

Pink Floyd
Nine Inch Nails
Ozric Tentacles
Barry White
Anything disco
They Might Be Giants
Anything eighties
Chris Whitley
Enigma
Dead Can Dance
Peter Gabriel

And so on and so forth. I could go on for a while. I love music. Don't know what I'd do with myself if I ever went deaf or something.

More Encouragement!

So I entered the FF&P contest this year, and while I didn't final, I got my entries back today with the scoresheets. Out of 150, my highest score was a 143, and the other scores were in the 130s. This on a version of my book that is several months out of date! Dang, I bet if I'd been able to enter the current more polished version I would have finaled. Ah well. I am encouraged. My reviewers really liked my ideas and also took the time to point out a few things I was doing wrong or could do better.

I was jazzed to see I actually already caught those very same things and fixed them, lol. So that proves to me I have the ability to catch my own mistakes which is also encouraging.

How funny that I can be so happy about something I didn't win. :-) I'm getting close. I can feel it!

Humor

Humor is a touchy thing. I find all sorts of things funny that are totally not PC, so when I use humor in my books I have to stop and take a reality check on it. Analyze it for who it might offend, how it can be taken the wrong way, etc. I know there are all kinds of people out there and I can't please everyone, but I don't want to automatically cut out the majority of my potential readers because my humor might be too far out.

Another potential danger spot is that I find most things in life funny. Not the really bad stuff, of course, but I think my perspective is different than most. For instance I find a lot of things in my day job funny. It's almost like a Dilbert cartoon in living color some days. Yet others seem to take it all very seriously. Then again, I suppose I appear that way too, so maybe we're all secretly laughing!

On the other side of the equation, I can't live without humor. I can't imagine writing a story that didn't contain at least a bit. And more likely a lot. Humor is how I cope with my everyday life. I find it healing and soothing. How more so if I'm reading a book that's funny. Total therapy!

Considering how many things I find funny I'm apparently in 24-7 therapy. Sounds good to me...

Environmental Factors in Writing

Continuing my topic from yesterday, in addition to having a place to write, I also find that I need certain other factors in place to do my best work. The biggest one is getting enough sleep. Now at my day job I'm used to being tired, harried, and still churning out quality work so I'm well versed in the concept of discipline and getting the job done no matter what you feel like. Still, I do better at writing if I get enough sleep.

Being well rested brings out my personality more, so my writing tends to pop better the first time out. My sentences come out gramatically correct, and I tend to get my facts straight from the beginning, which all makes for less work in the long run.

I also need caffeine almost as much as I need air. :-)

And I need music to listen to. Music creates the mood for me, which leeches into my writing. If I'm writing a sexy scene, some Barry White totally does the trick. If I'm writing something sad, Pink Floyd takes me in the right direction. And nothing like a little Guns 'n Roses if you're writing a fight scene, lol. In fact, I may go dig up a list of favorite music to write to and list it here another day.

Decorating your Office for Writing

I can write anywhere, but I prefer to write in my office because I decorated the room to create a certain mood. It is calming, relaxing, cozy, and I love being there. Which is good because I'm there a lot. :-)

I think it's really important to carve out a small space in your house or apartment that is yours alone and is only for writing. Otherwise I get distracted, I don't get as much done, and the quality declines. My personal version of writing heaven involves sage green walls, oak furniture, interesting knicknacks.

My favorite thing in the room is a stained glass lamp that my mother made for me. It is yellow, pink and green and reflects lilly pads with flowers. Even the base of the lamp is aged bronze and shaped to look like vines and lilly pads. It is so pretty. And it makes me feel like my mother is there watching, encouraging me in my writing.

I've also put pictures of my family in the room. Makes me feel not so alone while I write. Oh, and of course I have bookshelves filled with all my favorite books! I don't think I could ever bring myself to part with them.

Anyway, before I had this space I had a lot more trouble focusing on my writing. Now I actually want to be there for hours and hours. Makes me so happy...

Seeing Yourself in Your Books

I find it disconcerting to write an entire book and then have a friend or my husband tell me that the book is SO me. Apparently my personality comes through bright and clear, and it is peppered with details that are very individual to me. Too funny.

And interesting because in real life, I'm somewhat reserved. People tend to only see one side of me unless they are very close to me. I suspect when I publish people are going to be surprised that I wrote what I wrote. lol.

Whatever. I hate it when people insist on judging people as one dimensional. There's always more than meets the eye, and I am no exception. In a way, writing is very freeing because at last people can see more than just your face or the image you choose to present to the world. It's a way to connect and communicate with others when normally you wouldn't have the time or the inclination. Very cool.

Reading anything you can get your hands on

I have this weird obsession with reading. I not only will read anything I can get my hands on, but I must. Even if I'm sitting on the john in the morning, I have to have something to read. The shampoo bottle is fine if necessary. Whatever, as long as I'm reading.

It's like my mind can't stand to not be doing something. On the bright side, I've read all sorts of things that I otherwise wouldn't have read. When I was a child I literally started at one end of the library and worked my way through because I didn't have anything better to do. I wasn't athletic, and I wasn't very social, so what else is a girl to do?

At least it kept me out of trouble. Mostly. My mother had to actually take away my books periodically and make me go play outside so I didn't turn into a pallid, morose little child. :-)

As an adult, the magazines and books can't come fast enough. As soon as one is in my house it gets devoured quickly, shelved, and I wait expectantly for the next. It's an expensive hobby, to say the least. I'd go to the library, but their stuff tends to be out of date. Being the sort of instant gratification person that I am, I can't handle that. Ah well.

Anyway, my point to all this is, I think reading so much gives you an 'ear' for how a book is constructed, how it flows, what elements need to be there, etc. I draw on everything I've ever read, good or bad, when I write my books. Not to plagarize but to use as an educational tool. I'm grateful I'm so obsessed with reading or I wouldn't be as nearly prepared to write a book.

Or this could all be some sort of contorted justification for an as-yet undiagnosed obsessive/compulsive disorder. lol. I think I prefer the former explanation.

Insomnia

Good God. I woke up at 3 in the morning last night and could NOT get back to sleep. I ended up writing, doing my banking, surfing the net. Then some drunk guy called me at 4 a.m. and asked for "Angela". I don't know who the hell Angela is, but I advise her to break up with him. What a jerk.

lol. So today I'm a little out of it. I'm not sure what I wrote last night is even coherent. I am impatient to read it later so I can be entertained by the crappiness.

In the meantime, I'm going to go slam some caffeine. I will come up with a better topic for tomorrow. :-)

Seacrest, out.

Dreams

I get really vivid dreams in full color. So real sometimes that it kind of makes you wonder. The unconcious is a fascinating thing. I dream about ideas for books. Dream about problems in my real life and how to solve them. Dream about how to deal with people or situations. I dream about sex (all the time, lol), and I dream about my books.

Dreams are definitely an important part of my life. I'd be half as creative if I didn't dream. Which is where I got my idea for my second book, "Dreams are for Lovers". Urban legend has it that some people dream about events that later actually happen. What if their dreams are real? What if they are traveling through time and visiting the actual event?

My heroine is one of these people. She dreams every night of the murder of her parents. They died when she was four, yet she can't leave it behind. She can't sleep like a normal person. She's always tired, always drinking too much caffeine. She'd do almost anything to avoid going to sleep and seeing their murders again. She prays for the day when she can dream of something else, anything else.

Then one night a dream cop from another world comes into her dreams to save her. His people are devoted to guarding the dreamworlds, making sure no one abuses their talents in and changes the timelines.

I love this plot idea. The possibilities are endless. And I think the book turned out really well. God, I love writing!

The Freakiness of Putting Your Work Out There

I tend to write with blinders on. I pretend, to some extent, that no one is ever ever going to read what I write. Otherwise my internal censor starts kicking in. If I worry about what my mom will think, or friends, or people at work, it cramps my style and I end up with a stilted, repressed version of what I should have written.

Fortunately, I'm fabulous at compartmentalizing my life. Day job goes here, writing goes there, people go over there. I don't like certain things to mix. Otherwise it gets messy.

Of course once I publish it will probably all end up mixing, even if I use a pen name. But I refuse to censor myself over what so and so might think about a particular scene or fantasy. I can't do the writing thing and please everyone. So I guess in this case I have to think of myself and not worry about anyone else.

Still, it is amusing to think of my conservative family reading certain love scenes of mine. lol. It will be good for them. Or at least it will give them something to talk about for the next few years. :-)

Patience = Better Writing

I am the sort of person who has to really work at not opening my birthday presents early. Or Christmas presents. Or really any present ever handed to me. I'm a big fan of instant gratification.

This presents certain problems when I'm writing. Especially when I'm writing the first draft of a book. 100,000 words is a lot of words and it takes a bit of time to get all that down on paper. I find that if I do my homework before hand, such as work out the plot, characters, world, motiviations, conflicts, imagery, etc. then my rough draft comes out fairly close to the finished product. So I strive to do that since it is less work in the long run.

However, this requires a great deal of patience. Patience not to skip over any steps, patience to figure out everything up front, patience not to fill out the story as I go, or whatever. I have to continually council myself to hold my horses and craft my stories carefully, deliberately, and not cut any corners so that the finished product is of the highest quality I can make it in the first run.

Thankfully, I'm a fast writer so I can still pound out a book in maybe three months. So it's not like I have to wait forever to finish a book. Of course, I want everything done yesterday so my standards are apparently a little high. Especially since I have a full time, demanding day job. It's a wonder I even have a life.

So, I've been working on my patience. Nothing in life comes without hard work unless you get lucky and win the lotto. If I don't attain my goals because I'm lazy, then it's my own damned fault.

So I shall continue to work hard and continue to be patient. The rest is only a matter of time.

Inspiration in Pictures

I find it helpful with each book I write (and short stories /novellas) to surround myself with pictures that evoke the images and feel of what I'm writing. I tape them up around my office and think about words I could use to describe the scene, convey the mood, etc. I can build a whole world off of a single picture if it is interesting enough.

I based my first book on my experiences as a child in Missouri. I no longer live there, but my memories of it are strong. Rolling green hills, lush forests, lakes, rivers, rich geology and caves. The summer of my twelfth year I ran wild through the country, swimming in ponds, swinging on rope swings, and trying not to get bit by spiders, copperheads, water moccasins, etc. Despite the beauty of the Missouri countryside, lord it had some nasty little critters. :-)

At any rate, it made a deep impression on me to the point that even now if I see a picture of green rolling hills, farmland and forests, I still think of Missouri and those precious summers of freedom. I suspect that environment would bore me as an adult, and I would hate the humidity, but as a child it was fantastic. So I built my entire first book off that world and surrounded myself with pictures that reminded me of it. Very useful technique for writing, I think.

Anything that brings out a sense of reality so the reader can hear it, see it and breathe it is a good thing.

Where I do my best thinking

I realized that I do my best thinking about my writing in odd places. The shower. The car. Most especially the car. I will actually pray for a light to turn red so I can jot down my ideas real quick before it turns green again. While everyone else is sitting in traffic swearing, I'm sitting there happily writing away. :-)

I also think well when cleaning the house, doing yard work, and walking the dogs. And I get plenty of good ideas when I'm dreaming. I have a pad of paper by my bed so if I wake up at 2 a.m. in a panic over a great idea I can write it down and go back to sleep. lol. Otherise, forget it. I'll be up all night.

I have actually solved some of my toughest problems or come up with some of my best ideas while dreaming. I like it when my subconscious helps me out and hands me ideas on a silver platter. Less work for me that way, ha ha.

Anyway, it is nice to get something useful out of everyday activities that would normally suck, like standing in line at the grocery store. Although people do stare at me oddly when I suddenly freak out and rummage in my purse for a pad and pen and then start writing frantically. Oh well. I admit that I'm odd but refuse to think that's a bad thing. I revel in my weirdness!

Endless Obstacles to Writing

I was talking to a dear friend last night. She has the sort of karma where the craziest things happen to her. And I do mean crazy. Every day she tells me of something else that happened that I've never heard of happening to anyone else. Like a couple days ago people were checking the sewer lines for leaks and they blew smoke through it. I guess suddenly her bathroom filled with smoke and caused a panic. Her windows were duct taped shut because of hurricanes so she couldn't open them to air out the house. Apparently the workmen were unsympathetic and just told her to put water in the sinks and tub and then it won't leak through. Meanwhile, she is suffocating on smoke, running around filling things with water and trying to air out the house except the windows won't open.

And her family (which I dearly love) are all very boisterous people who can't help it when "things happen". lol. Calling her and finding out what happened today is like some sort of guilty pleasure where I get the next installment of my favorite soap opera. Poor woman.

So basically every time she sits down to write, something comes up to thwart her and suck up her time. On the bright side, she never seems to give up and has a great sense of humor about it, so more power to her.

Still, this has made me realize I am blessed with a surprising lack of distractions in life. For me, my only obstacles to writing are in my head and my day job. I have simplified everything to a few friends, my husband, dogs, cats and a house. Frankly, that's plenty. I don't know how people with kids or lots of friends ever get any writing done. My hat is off to them!

In the meantime, back to writing...

Treating Writing as a Job

I have discovered something about myself. The other day I was having trouble gearing up to write. I analyzed why I was procrastinating, then realized it was because I was having a small fit of insecurity about my writing. And when I get insecure, I have trouble getting motivated.

I know this is BS. My writing is fine. I just need to keep working at it. Every book will be better than the last, but I can't keep improving if I don't write.

So I visualized my writing as my job. And that I have a boss looking over my shoulder. All of a sudden, CLICK. I sat down and wrote like I was supposed to. I think there's something to be said for treating writing like you treat your day job. Insist on discipline, quality, and results.

God. I sound like my parents. AAAAARGH. When the hell did that happen? Still, perhaps they have a small point. :-) Note to mom and dad: OK already. You were right.

So I am compromising on my view of writing. It is part creativity and part job. Part artistry and part discipline. With that, my fourth book will be done in no time.

What I Find Sexy

I was thinking about common threads women seem to have about what they find sexy in a man. We all have different types we like, both physical and personality-wise, but there seem to be a few common themes. Themes that pop up persistently in romance writing.

Like being able to trust someone, knowing he has your back, knowing that he's bright enough to know when something is wrong, etc. And it doesn't hurt when a guy who finds you totally sexy and can't get you out of his head.

And NO whiners. I like people who take responsibility for themselves and make their own way in life. It's damned attractive when someone understands we all have challenges, but persistently works around them, through them, over them. Whatever it takes to get where he wants to go. I like guys who have strong personalities, who have great bullshit detectors and are natural leaders. I get bored too easily otherwise.

I guess I like an alpha males, but with brains and sensitivity. Ones that prefer strong women. Ones that prefer a little spark and flash.

So that's what I strive for in my male characters when I write. I like a little angst, interesting character traits, obstacles, rah rah rah, but the basic traits of my guys tend to be the same for me. Because it is just so damned hot when a women walks in and takes somebody that strong, intelligent and used to having his way straight to his knees. :-)

Oh yeah.

Second Guessing Yourself

I am a member of several writing loops, boards, etc. People are constantly discussing the various challenges in writing and often ask questions about what they were told by agents and editors. One person made the comment that she'd been told her plotting was too standard even though her scenes were unique.

What the heck does that mean? I mean yes, there are plots that are so cliched that one should probably never touch them, but there is some commonality to all plots that can't be avoided. Like they always say - nothing new under the sun.

Anyway, so I read that comment and frantically thought back through my books, trying to decide if I was being too cliched. It's such a fine balance between believing in your work but willing to relook at it and see what you can improve on. Every time somebody makes a comment about some critique they got, I have the same knee jerk reaction of, "Oh god, did I do that? Does that criticism apply to me?"

Mostly, I think they don't. Occasionally I find some comment or critique makes a good point, so I go back and fix it, but for the most part I love my books and think they rock. I do wish I could get rid of the uncertainty, but writing is so subjective, what can you do but do your best and then let it go? Not worth keeping you up at night.

I suppose I shall never shake this, but I hope to temper my response with time. No need to make myself crazy.

Unless I count as crazy already, in which case, carry on! Nothing to see here.

Future Technologies

The current book I'm working on happens a few thousand years in the future. I'm have a great time imagining what life would be like. I tend to view future technologies as wish fulfillment. Like my car will never need gas because it runs indefinitely, and when something does break on it, it automatically lets the service people know and I can choose the appointment I want on a view screen on my dashboard, which then beams to my dayplanner so I won't forget. :-)

Ah. Wouldn't that be nice?

Now, I'm pretty sure such things will be possible someday. Heck, most of that is possible now, it's just that we don't have the infrustructure and money to devote to it yet.

But some of the stuff I come up with, who knows if it will be possible. So I at least try to make it logical so it seems like it should be possible.

For instance, in my vampire book, they live on another world on the dark side, so it is very cold. The cold wouldn't kill them, but it is uncomfortable, so over thousands of years the technology developed to the point where their estates are protected by massive domes to keep them warm. There is no moon that shines in the sky, and our hero vampire misses seeing the Earth's moon, so he has his dome "project" an image of the Earth's moon. It slowly makes its way across the dome to give the illusion of night passing.

Now who knows if there's a clear material that could be developed that could project an image of the moon on itself. I know they can do windows that darken when electricity runs through it, but not windows that can project like a television. I'm sure it's possible, but to my knowledge it hasn't been invented yet.

Ah well. I say it's possible, so it is. That's part of the fun in being a writer!

My Favorite Authors

Today I was thinking I should list my favorite authors - at least the top ten. In alphabetical order, they are as follows. I didn't mean for them to be all women, but I guess I just really like the sort of things women tend to write as long as it is sci-fi, fantasy, and/or romance related. I also love historical romances, but it depends on the writer.

My theory is that real life just doesn't entirely do it for me. Living in one's head can be so much more interesting...

1. Catherine Asaro - She writes really fun sci-fi that's sexy and really well researched.

2. Octavia Butler - Very interesting perpective, almost literary

3. Christine Feehan - Really great vampire series, especially if you like alpha males

4. Susan Grant - Sci-fi/Futuristic romance. Really well done male characters. You just want to eat them up.

5. Emma Holly - Damn this woman can write a sex scene. God. Is it hot in here?

6. Sherrilyn Kenyon - The male characters remind me of real guys and she's funny as hell. I can't wait until Ash finally gets his story. The wait is driving me insane. Which I'm sure is exactly what she wants. Sigh. Consider myself manipulated to buy every danged book she ever writes.

7. Lisa Kleypas - Regency romances. Very clever, fun, funny, and her females tend to be strong, witty and smart. I love her.

8. Ursula Le Guin - All time favorite from when I was a little girl. I just love the Earthsea books. These were some of the first stories that got me hooked on fantasy.

9. Anne McCaffrey - I've read her Pern novel so many times, I practically have them memorized.

10. Lois McMaster Bujold - OK, this woman rocks my world. Dear God I love her characters, her dialogue, her writing style. Basically everything. I could never hope to match her, but lord she's fun to read.

Coming up with good characters

I was dreaming last night about the fine art of coming up with good, interesting and unique characters. I generally write somewhat cliched characters when I first sit down to write, then as time goes on, their quirks creep in to make them interesting. I was dreaming about the different facets of the characters - psychological background, motivation, likes and dislikes, physical habits, nervous quirks (if any), reactions to their evironment, speech patterns, etc. and how to get that all to come out in a story.

Am I the only one who gets these weird dreams?

At any rate, it was enlightening and got me thinking about my current book and how best to make my people pop out. I don't want to write the same character every time, so I've been using different aspects of myself and the people around me for each book. I know a lot of odd human beings and haven't yet run out of material. Hopefully no one will get the urge to run me over with their car if they recognize themselves in my books. Ha ha.

I've also noticed that my characters tend to be aggressive and have a morbidly amusing violent streak. I do not know people like that in real life, therefore this must be some odd psychological thing. I'm not going to analyze what that says about me. I'm just not going to. :-)

A Typical Day in My Life

Here's a typical weekday for me:

6 a.m. Get up
7:30 a.m. At work already
Mid-morning Check yahoo e-mail for FF&P and PRO mail
Lunch Write in blog
Afternoon Check yahoo ID again
5:00 p.m. Go home
6:00 p.m. Eat dinner, take a nap
7:30 p.m. Work on latest book
10:00 p.m. Go to bed

On the weekends I do chores, run around with my dogs, hang with my husband, but try to write at least 3-4 hours per day. That way weekly I tend to make quite a bit of progress on any given writing project. The downside to this is that I have NO life other than day job and writing. The upside to this is that I finished three books in the last year in addition to working my full time job.

I figure I've been working upwards of 70 hours a week that entire time. This, of course, wouldn't be possible if I had kids, but I don't. I figure three dogs and two cats are enough children for me. It's not that I don't love kids, but it's a matter of priorities. I couldn't live this way and have kids.

I'd rather write than almost anything else in life anyway. Except spend time with the hubby and the dogs. :-)

And if it actually gets me somewhere, all the better!

The fine art of catching brain whimsies

The last few months I have been carrying around a small pad of paper in my purse. I have one on my bedside table, one in my car, one upstairs in my office. I discovered that throughout the course of the day, and sometimes in my dreams, I'll think of fun dialogue, think of a solve to a plotting problem or the like. But it goes in one ear and out the other if I don't write it down.

Scary that at 33 I'm already going senile.

Still, acceptance is a part of grace, so I bought a bunch of notepads and now I write everything down as it occurs to me. Then I refer back to it as I write my books, thinking of where I might put this idea or that phrase.

I think my brain functions better swamped in spontenaity. My dialogue and plot always come out punchier if I don't think too hard about it. I can always polish later, but the spark emerges in a flash, fueled by toxic amounts of caffeine.

Did I mention I am a major, tremor-ridden coffee addict? Keeps the creativity flowing. I highly recommend it.

Another response

Today I got a rejection from a publisher. However, she said that my story, The Shape of Her Heart, was interesting, funny and refreshing. Except it didn't fit with her line. Damn. Then again, what a great rejection! Can't exactly get mad about your work being described as interesting, funny and refreshing. :-)

So I'm back to the drawing board on what house would fit my work better. I have a short list and will get right on that.

In the meantime, my next book is going along great. I love new projects, but this one in particular makes me happy and is keeping me inspired. I love my characters, the set up. Basically I love the whole nine yards. I'm totally jazzed.

A response from an agent!

Ooh, got a response from an agent I queried. She wants to see the first thirty pages of my first book, The Shape of Her Heart, and a bio. I'm so pleased!

So tonight I'll read through everything, polish up what she asked for, and send it off. Even if she says no, at least I know I'm on the right track, and my query letter caught her eye. Very cool.

Research

So as I mentioned before, I have a degree in history. I love history, but get bored with having to adhere to every perfect detail like they do in historical romance. I have a tendency to write paranormal romances or futuristic romances so I can do whatever the hell I want.

So I have this dilemma about a book I wrote. I played a little fast and loose with the science of it and while it is logical, I keep thinking maybe it's a stupid idea. Except it isn't. I know it isn't. I'm just being a dork.

Here's the gist of it: A massive solar flare hits the earth in 2058 and reverses the magnetic poles. There is actually scientific basis for this idea, although it is still in the theoretical stages. Anyway, my point is, the magnetic poles flip and it causes worldwide geologic disruption, volcanic going off, etc. and ends civilization as we know it.

Then 10,000 years later, humans are rebuilding civilization and begin to realize that not only did the flip change the face of the earth, but it also influenced human DNA, switching some genes on, others off, and people are evolving into elves, dwarves, trolls and the like. All sorts of interesting psychic abilities are popping up. Ley lines have been reactivated to full power. This produces a lot of prejudice and fear resulting in conflict and ostracism. The book begins there.

I like this idea. It has a lot of fuzzy science and takes definite liberties, but they are logical ones. I see people using fuzzy science all the time in movies and such, so why can't I? Still, I worry that I'm going too far out on a limb. This may be my conservative Lutheran upbringing smacking me in the head.

I need to learn to let go. :-)

So I'm not going to stress about it. It's a good idea and that's that. Coming up with ideas and having faith in them seems almost like therapy. Like learning to stand up for yourself and value who you are. Note to self: stop second guessing everything. It's unattractive. :pppp

P.S., if you like this idea and you are a publisher or agent, I have the whole book written. E-mail me and let me know you want to see it!

Why I write

So when I was a little girl I had a lot of free time on my hands. I filled it with books and imaginary friends. I'd make up stories to amuse myself. It got to the point that I found "real" life sort of boring next to the stuff I came up with.

I still do. :-)

I grew up and went to college but didn't have any clear direction of what I wanted to do, so I ended up with a (somewhat useful) history degree, a pile of school bills and no career. I got a job in the corporate world, and while I'm good at it, when I turned 30 I started to feel a certain itch. I wanted to reconnect with that little girl I used to be. I wanted to do something with my life that I found truly meaningful. So I started to write.

I have a dear friend who encouraged me, guided me, and read my stuff. She rocks. She even puts up with my insecurities about whether I suck at it or not, definitely above and beyond the call of duty. Writing books turned out to be a lot more work than I expected and it's hard not to take the stuff that comes out personally sometimes. I also find it obnoxious how so much work can be read by someone in the course of the day, then tossed aside on a bookshelf. Ha.

Anyway, I'm hooked. I love my husband, my dogs, my cats, where I live, and my house. But it is writing that tops everything off with a big dollop of cream. I've definitely found my calling.

First Post

Well, everyone has to start somewhere, so here is my beginning.

I write paranormal and fantasy romance. I absolutely love it and would like to do it for a living someday. I have three books written and am in the process of sending them out and about to publishers and agents. Right now TOR has my first two books, full manuscripts, and I'm waiting to hear back. I'm also waiting to hear back on a query to an agent.

In the meantime, I'm setting up a website and will post it here once it is operational.

Having written three books, I have much better respect for what people actually go through to get a book done. LOTS of work. Anybody who finishes one, no matter how good or crappy, deserves to throw themselves a party. :-)