Fantasy Life

When I was a little girl, I had a very rich fantasy life. I think I was kind of unhappy and bored, so I filled the time with imaginary friends and fun adventures. Sometimes I got so involved that I would worry that I wasn't going to be able to live a normal life. Other kids seemed so happy with normal things, but I never was and always had to make things up to make it more interesting.

Even now as an adult, if I get bored or I have to do something I don't feel like doing, my mind immediately begins to wander and comes up with a story to entertain me. lol. How considerate of it. Most of the stories I dream up are sort of embarrassing and I'd never be caught dead admitting to them. But I keep dreaming them because otherwise I might pass out from low blood pressure because I get so bored.

When I was a teenager I used to think this was a sign that maybe I had some sort of mental illness that I couldn't live life like other people, like maybe I have ADD or something. As an adult, I don't think so. I just think it's a sign that I'm very creative and happen to get bored easily because I absorb information quickly and move on. In fact, my whole life is built around what doesn't bore me, including my husband, dogs, and reading. Ha ha. If it bores me, it's out of my life, never to be seen again by me. :-)

Unless it involves paying the bills. Unfortunately I never seem to be able to get away from that one...

The Importance of People

I'm glad that I have my husband (here with me) and my best friend / momma in Florida (unfortunately not near me). If I didn't have these two people, I think I might never have sat down and written my first book. I consider myself a strong person, but I'm stronger with good people around me to encourage me and pick me up when I'm having a down day.

It's weird how all I have to do is call my friend in Florida, have a ten minute conversation with her, and suddenly I feel so much better I slam a cup of coffee and go write 30 pages, lol. And when I'm feeling insecure, I have my husband read what I wrote, he tells me honestly what he thinks, but always puts it in a way that both communicates what I could improve while making me feel really good about my progress. lol. That's a gift, imo.

Between the two of them, I manage very well. I don't know what I would do without them. :-)

The Joy of an Entire Day Ahead of You

Ah. Here I am at 8 in the morning on a Saturday, wrapped in my robe, sipping coffee. I have nothing on the list to do but grocery shop. Such a rare thing to have an open day like this. Makes me so relaxed and happy. So I will write, write, write.

I'm doing a "don't look down" draft right now, but I think I'll go over the last few chapters to make sure I'm filling it out enough so that my pacing looks right. Easier to change things up front than to decide there's something massively wrong with it after three drafts. Then I'll pound out another fifty pages or so.

When I was in highschool I used to think that having to do an eight page term paper was some sort of hellish punishment. lol. And now I can whip out 400 page books in a couple months or so. Puts page count in a whole different perspective!

Anyway, I'm excited to make good progress today. It makes me so happy!

Distractions

I think life is like standing in the middle of a Vegas casino. Total sensory overload and everything is designed to distract you and lull you into floating though life without actually doing anything. TV, shopping, Playstation (I'm an addict, lol), etc. all conspire against me.

Then there's the everyday things, like the car breaks down, things wear out, have to do errands, go grocery shopping. When you add it all up it is a miracle anyone ever gets anything personal done at all.

And I do consider writing personal. It is a business, I realize, and I am building "inventory", but it is also very personal because my primary reason for doing it is for ME and because I love it. Someday, when I'm lying on my deathbed, I will never regret having written these books or taken the time to explore my creative side. I find it very meaningful.

My challenge every day is to cut out the things that distract, that don't really matter, and insist on the things that do: my husband, my dogs, my writing. I don't want life to pass me by. I don't want to be 80 years old wondering what the hell I did with all my time.

So every day counts. Every day I take breath is another chance.

Whew

OK, so I had a dilly of a day and my brain is fried. Which leads me to my next topic: what strategies can a person employ to keep oneself writing when one is tired and fried?

First of all, if you can get them, naps are the way to go. I've heard that some people who are morning people can get up very early and write, but I'm a night owl, so no chance of that. Instead I get home from work, take a nap, get up, slam a half cup of coffee, and then I'm awake enough and functional enough to write.

Sometimes if I'm drawing a blank I'll also read something for 20 minutes just to get my mind in the cadence of words, then usually things flow again, although thankfully not in that person's voice, usually in mine.

Per the previous post, music also helps get the juices flowing. But really, getting enough sleep is my main goal in life. If I don't, forget it. I honestly think I lost a few years not writing because I thought I was never going to be rested enough for it. Then I hit upon the, "take a nap when I get home from work" idea and the words have been flowing ever since.

I don't know what the heck people with kids do. I just can't function all that well when I'm tired. My hat is off to them.

Music I like to Write to

OK, here's music I like to write to, some of which I mentioned before:

Pink Floyd
Nine Inch Nails
Ozric Tentacles
Barry White
Anything disco
They Might Be Giants
Anything eighties
Chris Whitley
Enigma
Dead Can Dance
Peter Gabriel

And so on and so forth. I could go on for a while. I love music. Don't know what I'd do with myself if I ever went deaf or something.

More Encouragement!

So I entered the FF&P contest this year, and while I didn't final, I got my entries back today with the scoresheets. Out of 150, my highest score was a 143, and the other scores were in the 130s. This on a version of my book that is several months out of date! Dang, I bet if I'd been able to enter the current more polished version I would have finaled. Ah well. I am encouraged. My reviewers really liked my ideas and also took the time to point out a few things I was doing wrong or could do better.

I was jazzed to see I actually already caught those very same things and fixed them, lol. So that proves to me I have the ability to catch my own mistakes which is also encouraging.

How funny that I can be so happy about something I didn't win. :-) I'm getting close. I can feel it!

Humor

Humor is a touchy thing. I find all sorts of things funny that are totally not PC, so when I use humor in my books I have to stop and take a reality check on it. Analyze it for who it might offend, how it can be taken the wrong way, etc. I know there are all kinds of people out there and I can't please everyone, but I don't want to automatically cut out the majority of my potential readers because my humor might be too far out.

Another potential danger spot is that I find most things in life funny. Not the really bad stuff, of course, but I think my perspective is different than most. For instance I find a lot of things in my day job funny. It's almost like a Dilbert cartoon in living color some days. Yet others seem to take it all very seriously. Then again, I suppose I appear that way too, so maybe we're all secretly laughing!

On the other side of the equation, I can't live without humor. I can't imagine writing a story that didn't contain at least a bit. And more likely a lot. Humor is how I cope with my everyday life. I find it healing and soothing. How more so if I'm reading a book that's funny. Total therapy!

Considering how many things I find funny I'm apparently in 24-7 therapy. Sounds good to me...

Environmental Factors in Writing

Continuing my topic from yesterday, in addition to having a place to write, I also find that I need certain other factors in place to do my best work. The biggest one is getting enough sleep. Now at my day job I'm used to being tired, harried, and still churning out quality work so I'm well versed in the concept of discipline and getting the job done no matter what you feel like. Still, I do better at writing if I get enough sleep.

Being well rested brings out my personality more, so my writing tends to pop better the first time out. My sentences come out gramatically correct, and I tend to get my facts straight from the beginning, which all makes for less work in the long run.

I also need caffeine almost as much as I need air. :-)

And I need music to listen to. Music creates the mood for me, which leeches into my writing. If I'm writing a sexy scene, some Barry White totally does the trick. If I'm writing something sad, Pink Floyd takes me in the right direction. And nothing like a little Guns 'n Roses if you're writing a fight scene, lol. In fact, I may go dig up a list of favorite music to write to and list it here another day.

Decorating your Office for Writing

I can write anywhere, but I prefer to write in my office because I decorated the room to create a certain mood. It is calming, relaxing, cozy, and I love being there. Which is good because I'm there a lot. :-)

I think it's really important to carve out a small space in your house or apartment that is yours alone and is only for writing. Otherwise I get distracted, I don't get as much done, and the quality declines. My personal version of writing heaven involves sage green walls, oak furniture, interesting knicknacks.

My favorite thing in the room is a stained glass lamp that my mother made for me. It is yellow, pink and green and reflects lilly pads with flowers. Even the base of the lamp is aged bronze and shaped to look like vines and lilly pads. It is so pretty. And it makes me feel like my mother is there watching, encouraging me in my writing.

I've also put pictures of my family in the room. Makes me feel not so alone while I write. Oh, and of course I have bookshelves filled with all my favorite books! I don't think I could ever bring myself to part with them.

Anyway, before I had this space I had a lot more trouble focusing on my writing. Now I actually want to be there for hours and hours. Makes me so happy...

Seeing Yourself in Your Books

I find it disconcerting to write an entire book and then have a friend or my husband tell me that the book is SO me. Apparently my personality comes through bright and clear, and it is peppered with details that are very individual to me. Too funny.

And interesting because in real life, I'm somewhat reserved. People tend to only see one side of me unless they are very close to me. I suspect when I publish people are going to be surprised that I wrote what I wrote. lol.

Whatever. I hate it when people insist on judging people as one dimensional. There's always more than meets the eye, and I am no exception. In a way, writing is very freeing because at last people can see more than just your face or the image you choose to present to the world. It's a way to connect and communicate with others when normally you wouldn't have the time or the inclination. Very cool.

Reading anything you can get your hands on

I have this weird obsession with reading. I not only will read anything I can get my hands on, but I must. Even if I'm sitting on the john in the morning, I have to have something to read. The shampoo bottle is fine if necessary. Whatever, as long as I'm reading.

It's like my mind can't stand to not be doing something. On the bright side, I've read all sorts of things that I otherwise wouldn't have read. When I was a child I literally started at one end of the library and worked my way through because I didn't have anything better to do. I wasn't athletic, and I wasn't very social, so what else is a girl to do?

At least it kept me out of trouble. Mostly. My mother had to actually take away my books periodically and make me go play outside so I didn't turn into a pallid, morose little child. :-)

As an adult, the magazines and books can't come fast enough. As soon as one is in my house it gets devoured quickly, shelved, and I wait expectantly for the next. It's an expensive hobby, to say the least. I'd go to the library, but their stuff tends to be out of date. Being the sort of instant gratification person that I am, I can't handle that. Ah well.

Anyway, my point to all this is, I think reading so much gives you an 'ear' for how a book is constructed, how it flows, what elements need to be there, etc. I draw on everything I've ever read, good or bad, when I write my books. Not to plagarize but to use as an educational tool. I'm grateful I'm so obsessed with reading or I wouldn't be as nearly prepared to write a book.

Or this could all be some sort of contorted justification for an as-yet undiagnosed obsessive/compulsive disorder. lol. I think I prefer the former explanation.

Insomnia

Good God. I woke up at 3 in the morning last night and could NOT get back to sleep. I ended up writing, doing my banking, surfing the net. Then some drunk guy called me at 4 a.m. and asked for "Angela". I don't know who the hell Angela is, but I advise her to break up with him. What a jerk.

lol. So today I'm a little out of it. I'm not sure what I wrote last night is even coherent. I am impatient to read it later so I can be entertained by the crappiness.

In the meantime, I'm going to go slam some caffeine. I will come up with a better topic for tomorrow. :-)

Seacrest, out.

Dreams

I get really vivid dreams in full color. So real sometimes that it kind of makes you wonder. The unconcious is a fascinating thing. I dream about ideas for books. Dream about problems in my real life and how to solve them. Dream about how to deal with people or situations. I dream about sex (all the time, lol), and I dream about my books.

Dreams are definitely an important part of my life. I'd be half as creative if I didn't dream. Which is where I got my idea for my second book, "Dreams are for Lovers". Urban legend has it that some people dream about events that later actually happen. What if their dreams are real? What if they are traveling through time and visiting the actual event?

My heroine is one of these people. She dreams every night of the murder of her parents. They died when she was four, yet she can't leave it behind. She can't sleep like a normal person. She's always tired, always drinking too much caffeine. She'd do almost anything to avoid going to sleep and seeing their murders again. She prays for the day when she can dream of something else, anything else.

Then one night a dream cop from another world comes into her dreams to save her. His people are devoted to guarding the dreamworlds, making sure no one abuses their talents in and changes the timelines.

I love this plot idea. The possibilities are endless. And I think the book turned out really well. God, I love writing!

The Freakiness of Putting Your Work Out There

I tend to write with blinders on. I pretend, to some extent, that no one is ever ever going to read what I write. Otherwise my internal censor starts kicking in. If I worry about what my mom will think, or friends, or people at work, it cramps my style and I end up with a stilted, repressed version of what I should have written.

Fortunately, I'm fabulous at compartmentalizing my life. Day job goes here, writing goes there, people go over there. I don't like certain things to mix. Otherwise it gets messy.

Of course once I publish it will probably all end up mixing, even if I use a pen name. But I refuse to censor myself over what so and so might think about a particular scene or fantasy. I can't do the writing thing and please everyone. So I guess in this case I have to think of myself and not worry about anyone else.

Still, it is amusing to think of my conservative family reading certain love scenes of mine. lol. It will be good for them. Or at least it will give them something to talk about for the next few years. :-)

Patience = Better Writing

I am the sort of person who has to really work at not opening my birthday presents early. Or Christmas presents. Or really any present ever handed to me. I'm a big fan of instant gratification.

This presents certain problems when I'm writing. Especially when I'm writing the first draft of a book. 100,000 words is a lot of words and it takes a bit of time to get all that down on paper. I find that if I do my homework before hand, such as work out the plot, characters, world, motiviations, conflicts, imagery, etc. then my rough draft comes out fairly close to the finished product. So I strive to do that since it is less work in the long run.

However, this requires a great deal of patience. Patience not to skip over any steps, patience to figure out everything up front, patience not to fill out the story as I go, or whatever. I have to continually council myself to hold my horses and craft my stories carefully, deliberately, and not cut any corners so that the finished product is of the highest quality I can make it in the first run.

Thankfully, I'm a fast writer so I can still pound out a book in maybe three months. So it's not like I have to wait forever to finish a book. Of course, I want everything done yesterday so my standards are apparently a little high. Especially since I have a full time, demanding day job. It's a wonder I even have a life.

So, I've been working on my patience. Nothing in life comes without hard work unless you get lucky and win the lotto. If I don't attain my goals because I'm lazy, then it's my own damned fault.

So I shall continue to work hard and continue to be patient. The rest is only a matter of time.

Inspiration in Pictures

I find it helpful with each book I write (and short stories /novellas) to surround myself with pictures that evoke the images and feel of what I'm writing. I tape them up around my office and think about words I could use to describe the scene, convey the mood, etc. I can build a whole world off of a single picture if it is interesting enough.

I based my first book on my experiences as a child in Missouri. I no longer live there, but my memories of it are strong. Rolling green hills, lush forests, lakes, rivers, rich geology and caves. The summer of my twelfth year I ran wild through the country, swimming in ponds, swinging on rope swings, and trying not to get bit by spiders, copperheads, water moccasins, etc. Despite the beauty of the Missouri countryside, lord it had some nasty little critters. :-)

At any rate, it made a deep impression on me to the point that even now if I see a picture of green rolling hills, farmland and forests, I still think of Missouri and those precious summers of freedom. I suspect that environment would bore me as an adult, and I would hate the humidity, but as a child it was fantastic. So I built my entire first book off that world and surrounded myself with pictures that reminded me of it. Very useful technique for writing, I think.

Anything that brings out a sense of reality so the reader can hear it, see it and breathe it is a good thing.

Where I do my best thinking

I realized that I do my best thinking about my writing in odd places. The shower. The car. Most especially the car. I will actually pray for a light to turn red so I can jot down my ideas real quick before it turns green again. While everyone else is sitting in traffic swearing, I'm sitting there happily writing away. :-)

I also think well when cleaning the house, doing yard work, and walking the dogs. And I get plenty of good ideas when I'm dreaming. I have a pad of paper by my bed so if I wake up at 2 a.m. in a panic over a great idea I can write it down and go back to sleep. lol. Otherise, forget it. I'll be up all night.

I have actually solved some of my toughest problems or come up with some of my best ideas while dreaming. I like it when my subconscious helps me out and hands me ideas on a silver platter. Less work for me that way, ha ha.

Anyway, it is nice to get something useful out of everyday activities that would normally suck, like standing in line at the grocery store. Although people do stare at me oddly when I suddenly freak out and rummage in my purse for a pad and pen and then start writing frantically. Oh well. I admit that I'm odd but refuse to think that's a bad thing. I revel in my weirdness!

Endless Obstacles to Writing

I was talking to a dear friend last night. She has the sort of karma where the craziest things happen to her. And I do mean crazy. Every day she tells me of something else that happened that I've never heard of happening to anyone else. Like a couple days ago people were checking the sewer lines for leaks and they blew smoke through it. I guess suddenly her bathroom filled with smoke and caused a panic. Her windows were duct taped shut because of hurricanes so she couldn't open them to air out the house. Apparently the workmen were unsympathetic and just told her to put water in the sinks and tub and then it won't leak through. Meanwhile, she is suffocating on smoke, running around filling things with water and trying to air out the house except the windows won't open.

And her family (which I dearly love) are all very boisterous people who can't help it when "things happen". lol. Calling her and finding out what happened today is like some sort of guilty pleasure where I get the next installment of my favorite soap opera. Poor woman.

So basically every time she sits down to write, something comes up to thwart her and suck up her time. On the bright side, she never seems to give up and has a great sense of humor about it, so more power to her.

Still, this has made me realize I am blessed with a surprising lack of distractions in life. For me, my only obstacles to writing are in my head and my day job. I have simplified everything to a few friends, my husband, dogs, cats and a house. Frankly, that's plenty. I don't know how people with kids or lots of friends ever get any writing done. My hat is off to them!

In the meantime, back to writing...

Treating Writing as a Job

I have discovered something about myself. The other day I was having trouble gearing up to write. I analyzed why I was procrastinating, then realized it was because I was having a small fit of insecurity about my writing. And when I get insecure, I have trouble getting motivated.

I know this is BS. My writing is fine. I just need to keep working at it. Every book will be better than the last, but I can't keep improving if I don't write.

So I visualized my writing as my job. And that I have a boss looking over my shoulder. All of a sudden, CLICK. I sat down and wrote like I was supposed to. I think there's something to be said for treating writing like you treat your day job. Insist on discipline, quality, and results.

God. I sound like my parents. AAAAARGH. When the hell did that happen? Still, perhaps they have a small point. :-) Note to mom and dad: OK already. You were right.

So I am compromising on my view of writing. It is part creativity and part job. Part artistry and part discipline. With that, my fourth book will be done in no time.

What I Find Sexy

I was thinking about common threads women seem to have about what they find sexy in a man. We all have different types we like, both physical and personality-wise, but there seem to be a few common themes. Themes that pop up persistently in romance writing.

Like being able to trust someone, knowing he has your back, knowing that he's bright enough to know when something is wrong, etc. And it doesn't hurt when a guy who finds you totally sexy and can't get you out of his head.

And NO whiners. I like people who take responsibility for themselves and make their own way in life. It's damned attractive when someone understands we all have challenges, but persistently works around them, through them, over them. Whatever it takes to get where he wants to go. I like guys who have strong personalities, who have great bullshit detectors and are natural leaders. I get bored too easily otherwise.

I guess I like an alpha males, but with brains and sensitivity. Ones that prefer strong women. Ones that prefer a little spark and flash.

So that's what I strive for in my male characters when I write. I like a little angst, interesting character traits, obstacles, rah rah rah, but the basic traits of my guys tend to be the same for me. Because it is just so damned hot when a women walks in and takes somebody that strong, intelligent and used to having his way straight to his knees. :-)

Oh yeah.

Second Guessing Yourself

I am a member of several writing loops, boards, etc. People are constantly discussing the various challenges in writing and often ask questions about what they were told by agents and editors. One person made the comment that she'd been told her plotting was too standard even though her scenes were unique.

What the heck does that mean? I mean yes, there are plots that are so cliched that one should probably never touch them, but there is some commonality to all plots that can't be avoided. Like they always say - nothing new under the sun.

Anyway, so I read that comment and frantically thought back through my books, trying to decide if I was being too cliched. It's such a fine balance between believing in your work but willing to relook at it and see what you can improve on. Every time somebody makes a comment about some critique they got, I have the same knee jerk reaction of, "Oh god, did I do that? Does that criticism apply to me?"

Mostly, I think they don't. Occasionally I find some comment or critique makes a good point, so I go back and fix it, but for the most part I love my books and think they rock. I do wish I could get rid of the uncertainty, but writing is so subjective, what can you do but do your best and then let it go? Not worth keeping you up at night.

I suppose I shall never shake this, but I hope to temper my response with time. No need to make myself crazy.

Unless I count as crazy already, in which case, carry on! Nothing to see here.

Future Technologies

The current book I'm working on happens a few thousand years in the future. I'm have a great time imagining what life would be like. I tend to view future technologies as wish fulfillment. Like my car will never need gas because it runs indefinitely, and when something does break on it, it automatically lets the service people know and I can choose the appointment I want on a view screen on my dashboard, which then beams to my dayplanner so I won't forget. :-)

Ah. Wouldn't that be nice?

Now, I'm pretty sure such things will be possible someday. Heck, most of that is possible now, it's just that we don't have the infrustructure and money to devote to it yet.

But some of the stuff I come up with, who knows if it will be possible. So I at least try to make it logical so it seems like it should be possible.

For instance, in my vampire book, they live on another world on the dark side, so it is very cold. The cold wouldn't kill them, but it is uncomfortable, so over thousands of years the technology developed to the point where their estates are protected by massive domes to keep them warm. There is no moon that shines in the sky, and our hero vampire misses seeing the Earth's moon, so he has his dome "project" an image of the Earth's moon. It slowly makes its way across the dome to give the illusion of night passing.

Now who knows if there's a clear material that could be developed that could project an image of the moon on itself. I know they can do windows that darken when electricity runs through it, but not windows that can project like a television. I'm sure it's possible, but to my knowledge it hasn't been invented yet.

Ah well. I say it's possible, so it is. That's part of the fun in being a writer!

My Favorite Authors

Today I was thinking I should list my favorite authors - at least the top ten. In alphabetical order, they are as follows. I didn't mean for them to be all women, but I guess I just really like the sort of things women tend to write as long as it is sci-fi, fantasy, and/or romance related. I also love historical romances, but it depends on the writer.

My theory is that real life just doesn't entirely do it for me. Living in one's head can be so much more interesting...

1. Catherine Asaro - She writes really fun sci-fi that's sexy and really well researched.

2. Octavia Butler - Very interesting perpective, almost literary

3. Christine Feehan - Really great vampire series, especially if you like alpha males

4. Susan Grant - Sci-fi/Futuristic romance. Really well done male characters. You just want to eat them up.

5. Emma Holly - Damn this woman can write a sex scene. God. Is it hot in here?

6. Sherrilyn Kenyon - The male characters remind me of real guys and she's funny as hell. I can't wait until Ash finally gets his story. The wait is driving me insane. Which I'm sure is exactly what she wants. Sigh. Consider myself manipulated to buy every danged book she ever writes.

7. Lisa Kleypas - Regency romances. Very clever, fun, funny, and her females tend to be strong, witty and smart. I love her.

8. Ursula Le Guin - All time favorite from when I was a little girl. I just love the Earthsea books. These were some of the first stories that got me hooked on fantasy.

9. Anne McCaffrey - I've read her Pern novel so many times, I practically have them memorized.

10. Lois McMaster Bujold - OK, this woman rocks my world. Dear God I love her characters, her dialogue, her writing style. Basically everything. I could never hope to match her, but lord she's fun to read.

Coming up with good characters

I was dreaming last night about the fine art of coming up with good, interesting and unique characters. I generally write somewhat cliched characters when I first sit down to write, then as time goes on, their quirks creep in to make them interesting. I was dreaming about the different facets of the characters - psychological background, motivation, likes and dislikes, physical habits, nervous quirks (if any), reactions to their evironment, speech patterns, etc. and how to get that all to come out in a story.

Am I the only one who gets these weird dreams?

At any rate, it was enlightening and got me thinking about my current book and how best to make my people pop out. I don't want to write the same character every time, so I've been using different aspects of myself and the people around me for each book. I know a lot of odd human beings and haven't yet run out of material. Hopefully no one will get the urge to run me over with their car if they recognize themselves in my books. Ha ha.

I've also noticed that my characters tend to be aggressive and have a morbidly amusing violent streak. I do not know people like that in real life, therefore this must be some odd psychological thing. I'm not going to analyze what that says about me. I'm just not going to. :-)

A Typical Day in My Life

Here's a typical weekday for me:

6 a.m. Get up
7:30 a.m. At work already
Mid-morning Check yahoo e-mail for FF&P and PRO mail
Lunch Write in blog
Afternoon Check yahoo ID again
5:00 p.m. Go home
6:00 p.m. Eat dinner, take a nap
7:30 p.m. Work on latest book
10:00 p.m. Go to bed

On the weekends I do chores, run around with my dogs, hang with my husband, but try to write at least 3-4 hours per day. That way weekly I tend to make quite a bit of progress on any given writing project. The downside to this is that I have NO life other than day job and writing. The upside to this is that I finished three books in the last year in addition to working my full time job.

I figure I've been working upwards of 70 hours a week that entire time. This, of course, wouldn't be possible if I had kids, but I don't. I figure three dogs and two cats are enough children for me. It's not that I don't love kids, but it's a matter of priorities. I couldn't live this way and have kids.

I'd rather write than almost anything else in life anyway. Except spend time with the hubby and the dogs. :-)

And if it actually gets me somewhere, all the better!

The fine art of catching brain whimsies

The last few months I have been carrying around a small pad of paper in my purse. I have one on my bedside table, one in my car, one upstairs in my office. I discovered that throughout the course of the day, and sometimes in my dreams, I'll think of fun dialogue, think of a solve to a plotting problem or the like. But it goes in one ear and out the other if I don't write it down.

Scary that at 33 I'm already going senile.

Still, acceptance is a part of grace, so I bought a bunch of notepads and now I write everything down as it occurs to me. Then I refer back to it as I write my books, thinking of where I might put this idea or that phrase.

I think my brain functions better swamped in spontenaity. My dialogue and plot always come out punchier if I don't think too hard about it. I can always polish later, but the spark emerges in a flash, fueled by toxic amounts of caffeine.

Did I mention I am a major, tremor-ridden coffee addict? Keeps the creativity flowing. I highly recommend it.

Another response

Today I got a rejection from a publisher. However, she said that my story, The Shape of Her Heart, was interesting, funny and refreshing. Except it didn't fit with her line. Damn. Then again, what a great rejection! Can't exactly get mad about your work being described as interesting, funny and refreshing. :-)

So I'm back to the drawing board on what house would fit my work better. I have a short list and will get right on that.

In the meantime, my next book is going along great. I love new projects, but this one in particular makes me happy and is keeping me inspired. I love my characters, the set up. Basically I love the whole nine yards. I'm totally jazzed.

A response from an agent!

Ooh, got a response from an agent I queried. She wants to see the first thirty pages of my first book, The Shape of Her Heart, and a bio. I'm so pleased!

So tonight I'll read through everything, polish up what she asked for, and send it off. Even if she says no, at least I know I'm on the right track, and my query letter caught her eye. Very cool.

Research

So as I mentioned before, I have a degree in history. I love history, but get bored with having to adhere to every perfect detail like they do in historical romance. I have a tendency to write paranormal romances or futuristic romances so I can do whatever the hell I want.

So I have this dilemma about a book I wrote. I played a little fast and loose with the science of it and while it is logical, I keep thinking maybe it's a stupid idea. Except it isn't. I know it isn't. I'm just being a dork.

Here's the gist of it: A massive solar flare hits the earth in 2058 and reverses the magnetic poles. There is actually scientific basis for this idea, although it is still in the theoretical stages. Anyway, my point is, the magnetic poles flip and it causes worldwide geologic disruption, volcanic going off, etc. and ends civilization as we know it.

Then 10,000 years later, humans are rebuilding civilization and begin to realize that not only did the flip change the face of the earth, but it also influenced human DNA, switching some genes on, others off, and people are evolving into elves, dwarves, trolls and the like. All sorts of interesting psychic abilities are popping up. Ley lines have been reactivated to full power. This produces a lot of prejudice and fear resulting in conflict and ostracism. The book begins there.

I like this idea. It has a lot of fuzzy science and takes definite liberties, but they are logical ones. I see people using fuzzy science all the time in movies and such, so why can't I? Still, I worry that I'm going too far out on a limb. This may be my conservative Lutheran upbringing smacking me in the head.

I need to learn to let go. :-)

So I'm not going to stress about it. It's a good idea and that's that. Coming up with ideas and having faith in them seems almost like therapy. Like learning to stand up for yourself and value who you are. Note to self: stop second guessing everything. It's unattractive. :pppp

P.S., if you like this idea and you are a publisher or agent, I have the whole book written. E-mail me and let me know you want to see it!

Why I write

So when I was a little girl I had a lot of free time on my hands. I filled it with books and imaginary friends. I'd make up stories to amuse myself. It got to the point that I found "real" life sort of boring next to the stuff I came up with.

I still do. :-)

I grew up and went to college but didn't have any clear direction of what I wanted to do, so I ended up with a (somewhat useful) history degree, a pile of school bills and no career. I got a job in the corporate world, and while I'm good at it, when I turned 30 I started to feel a certain itch. I wanted to reconnect with that little girl I used to be. I wanted to do something with my life that I found truly meaningful. So I started to write.

I have a dear friend who encouraged me, guided me, and read my stuff. She rocks. She even puts up with my insecurities about whether I suck at it or not, definitely above and beyond the call of duty. Writing books turned out to be a lot more work than I expected and it's hard not to take the stuff that comes out personally sometimes. I also find it obnoxious how so much work can be read by someone in the course of the day, then tossed aside on a bookshelf. Ha.

Anyway, I'm hooked. I love my husband, my dogs, my cats, where I live, and my house. But it is writing that tops everything off with a big dollop of cream. I've definitely found my calling.

First Post

Well, everyone has to start somewhere, so here is my beginning.

I write paranormal and fantasy romance. I absolutely love it and would like to do it for a living someday. I have three books written and am in the process of sending them out and about to publishers and agents. Right now TOR has my first two books, full manuscripts, and I'm waiting to hear back. I'm also waiting to hear back on a query to an agent.

In the meantime, I'm setting up a website and will post it here once it is operational.

Having written three books, I have much better respect for what people actually go through to get a book done. LOTS of work. Anybody who finishes one, no matter how good or crappy, deserves to throw themselves a party. :-)